Dear _____-

Today, 2-o'clock, Saturday

It is one month that you're not here with me and finally I find the time and the right spirit to write you. I want to calm you immediately, telling you that my feelings for you haven't changed, rather with the distance they have reinforced like I had expected, but what concerns me is the fact that the things I wanted to do in your absence I haven't succeeded in carrying ahead. I prepared the box with the hearts, the cassette, and other objects but couldn't send them sooner because of a lack of money and now for the lack of a fixed address for you.

I want to squeeze you and kiss you but it would be enough even a little, maybe even only five minutes, but I know that it's impossible and it hurts me very much.

You know, my love, it's strange, but the first thing that I should miss is the physical contact and sex between us, but maybe I miss your spirit even more here close to me, to warm my heart. Like I suspected, the women are bugging me all around but I don't want to fall prey to a mistake that would mark my life, because the idea of losing you puts me in total desperation. The idea of cheating on you doesn't even cross my mind, because you are the only woman that I love and will love.

I go out often with my friends, also to dance, and they are, together with you, my strength and my lifeline. Staying at home would kill me even more than your absence and my problems.

Last Tuesday they operated on my dad's heart. Since then I understood how fragile and impotent we are in the face of destiny. In the days following the surgery and even today when I saw him, he seemed to me (and it's true) to be extremely fragile, and this further damages him psychologically. It hurts me too, because I used to see him as an indestructible man.

You must excuse me if I don't call and haven't written before but it's difficult when you spend your days between work and the hospital, with only saturdays and sundays for myself. to find that I am not a great poet with the desire to express my love for life. I've never been good at writing, I am better at words.

But I want to tell you one thing. However it goes between us I must thank-you because thanks to you my heart still beats and my tears wet my cheeks, which hasn't happened in years. This I want to tell you, that since I fell in love with you I returned to life.

Finally the furniture is gone from the house and now, as soon as my father leaves the hospital, I will be thinking about preparing the house for your return.

I also taped a cassette for you, so you will be able to hear my voice and understand better that I love you as much as I did when you were here with me.

My eyes are getting sleepy and so maybe it's better if I end this letter, but I do it reminding you that you have someone here waiting for you and you must return because if you don't, I will come to you, I will take you on my white horse, and I will close you up heart and soul in the highest tower of my castle.

P.S.

I would like to be the wind so that I can fly through your hair.

I would like to be water so that I can bathe your skin.

I would like to be fire so that I can burn your enemies.

I would like to be the earth so that I may kiss your feet.

I would like to be all this and more for you.

But I am only love to warm your heart.

I love you _____

Golden dreams, amore mîo-

[submitted 07/21/02]