SO GLAD YOU MOVED

Yucko,

Just so you know, for a while there you made my world feel really small. I felt like I couldn't go anywhere, I gave up on seeing some of our mutual friends, I stopped playing music, I avoided any realm in which I could feel your presence. Even though you lived only a few blocks away, I successfully avoided you for years. The thought of dealing with you in any way was completely distasteful.

My life is 100% great now, and I'm so glad you moved to Chicago. I hope you're spending all your money on rent and parking tickets. And I hope no one is cooking you nice dinners.

Why don't you move even further away as soon as possible?

Better