SUCH IS LIFE


A leap of faith,
A hand held out into the empty darkness
Hoping that another will be there.

Such is life

I've made my peace with it, the endless pounding turmoil and uncertainty. I've learned to not notice the ground that is missing beneath my feet. I've learned to not even look to see if it is there. When you look down, you fall. That is the lesson I have learned from ______, sweet, beautiful, broken _______. What I wanted from him was a feeling of security and perminance. What I found in our struggles and strivings was peace with the fact that there is no such thing and in that way I found what I was looking for...........

I drew a picture of us all together holding hands, smiling and happy. A little stick figure drawing of a middle class white guy with his son and a mexican woman from the east side with her four children. I don't know if that picture will ever become a reality, if we will ever be a family or overcome all the obstacles and challenges that lie before us. Last Friday he threw me out of his house and took back his keys. The next day he called in tears. That is how it is with us, we are our own greatest obstacle, both of us wounded and broken in our own way. Can two people who've spent their lives for the most part in the selfishness of selfpity, self hatred and bitter remorse come together, heal the wounds of the past and create one life, whole, complete and greater than than themselves? Can two and five become seven? That is, el dueno de mi corazon. The dream of my heart.




the love letter collection