Thank you for the good wishes. The last month or so has been so wild that I haven't really had time to collect my thoughts about all that has happened. And now suddenly I have dates to worry about, family I've offended and matching plates, which seems even wierder to me than the fact that I'm getting married (more on that fact later).

I'm sorry that I was shitty to you on the phone. I realized that after I hung up, but there was so much happening that day, and people were coming over, and I hadn't really slept, and well, all of these are just excuses. I'm sorry. I truly meant to call you back, but as you well know I'm also a flake... So, let me say thank you so much for calling. I was incrediably happy, just brain confused and phone-shy at the time. Everything just seemed so fast. Again, sorry.

As far as the strange distance between us, I don't understand it. I'd be lying to myself if I started to point to reasons like when you came down here this happened, or when I was up there that happened. The truth is I don't want to be moving apart from you. I'm going to go all psycho-babble here (but hell that's what brought us together in the first place)-- Maybe the root of all of these strange feelings of seperation are due as much to physical circumstances (us being away from each other for the longest time since we were 18) as the emotional landscape.

There is the matter of the long road of our psyches--covering at least as much territory as I90 with more hills, of course. And, with _____ being my first very serious girlfriend since you (the others, I think we both know were different--you still being the massive center of my universe) it might be that I don't quite know how to act. Sort of spun in a different connection suddenly with two centers. You who made me what I am, and her who loves it.

I know that we will be friends forever, and that this is just some bump like we've hit in the past. I'll try to call you sometime next week.

[submitted 05/07/03]