how can i get close to you? i have been asking myself this for 10 years! ever since i met you briefly while standing on the street corner, i have not forgotten you. i was too shy to talk to you, even though you approached me for a little chit chat. me not responding, probably made you thought that i was afraid of you or that i was thinking you were going to mug me.

but the fact was, i was just a stupid inexperienced teenager girl and you were a man to me. i did not know how to conduct small conversation.

now i am a woman and long for you so badly in the past two years. it has been driving me crazy. i have your number now but i am afraid to call.

i have sent you crazy secret admire gifts, but i have not had the guts to contact you personally. why? well, i have been going through emotional changes lately due to lack of self love and love in general.

rejection, or the presupposed idea of rejection from you, is something i don't need right now. i am in this horrible state of loving and being loved right now. at this momemt it feels safer to love you from afar with no rejection than to test my fears with the actualization of your response to me. this does not give me satisfaction though since more and more everyday loving you from afar seems quite....depressing and unfufilling.

[submitted 10/20/02]