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You:
Why is it whenever I look at you, I just keep thinking that you would be the one I would grow old together with? Was it the grey hairs talking? Was it the fact we connect on so many levels? Was it the differences? I always thought of things involving us as terms of 'ours' and 'us'. I still have troubles thinking now, in terms of of just 'you' and 'me'. Part of me is torn away and ripped apart, knowing that without even meeting _____, you wouldn't have wanted me back. Part of me is still crying deep inside when I think about how I lost someone and can never have them back as I once knew them and that they were openly fond of being with me, whatever and whenever it may be.

You have never looked at me the same since, and the reality of of never seeing you like that again, embarasses me and reminds me of the failure I was, still am. You said you were unique, one of a kind, never meet another like you, you were dead right. I can't replace you, and that's my problem. No one even comes close to you. If I could replace you, it would be so much easier to exchange all these feelings with someone else and let myself feel some kind of love again, and I can't.

Life:
It's funny how all the things you should have said and done, whenever you look back upon something. How easy it is to find the little things that should have been said and done, but now they are just stains to memories we hold inside of all of us. How is one supposed to feel when they cannot have something they desire and the object of the desire has no interest, yet craves no other with the same passion... good time to finish Don Quixote I guess and find out what the man from La Mancha has to say about his similar dilemma, maybe he has some helpful tips.

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[submitted 06/05/03]