this space is lonely without you. it is filled with empty laughter as we hold our glasses high, toasting our own separatness. my cheeks burn from the memory of your touch and the knowledge that you are gone for good. you have led me once more to the edge. i took your hand willingly. you, innocent in your ideal. me, the beautiful one - "different from the others, much more intense..."

men like you make me want to peel my flesh away. sometimes i can almost feel what it would be like to be free of this body. i imagine my hands clutching the skin on my scalp, gently pulling until this soft shell is split to reveal my opalescent heart to all. most days i am stuck in this aching vessel with your ghost and the knowledge that you have loved me by far the deepest.

as time moves us further apart, please remember that we knew each others swirling colors, breath and hearts.

good bye love.

[submitted 06/10/03]