TIME IS NOT NOW


dear you,

This is kind of hard for me to say, but i must do what I think is best; for my peace of mind but mostly for my heart. I like you alot. You know that, or at least you should. It's just.....I can't do this anymore.

Today I woke up with the realization that it's impossible - you and I, we can never be. I need someone who can be open and honest; someone who isn't afraid of confrontation, someone who can tell me how he feels. You will never make the move and I don't always want to.

I need to feel pursued. I need to feel like you care if i'm alive at least. You don't, you're not emotionally mature enough. I'm sorry if this hurts you - I know it's hurting me a lot. I'm even more sorry that I'll never know if this hurts you...you'll never let me know.

I just can't figure you out, it's like you are a complicated toy with "assembly required"- somewhere along the way you're instructions were printed in japanese. I'm not experienced or sophisticated to be able to read you. Maybe some day when i've lived a little more I'll know how to translate you.

That time is not now though, so for a while I'll smile when i see you, I'll be your date when you need one, but i absolutely refuse to crush on you. I absolutely refuse to follow you around until you're ready.

I absolutely refuse to be hurt when you flirt with her to see my reaction. I absolutely refuse to fall for you when you pay attention to me. I absolutely refuse to let myself get hurt when you can't be open with me.

Above all, I absolutely refuse to compromise my heart and bend to your will. At least not at this time in my life. You're not ready to be my everything.

Good bye , even if it's only in spirit.