some days i can still remember you so clearly. it's as if these years are the dream and all that we had is still real. today i can recall in great detail your hands pressed against mine with your bitten nails and muscular fingertips and the music they so lovingly offered me

i saw you that night, though i know it appeared that i saw right through you. i've resolved to not look into you until i'm certain that you'll be soft. you seem harder or defensive now and your hunched posture has you looking defeated at the age of 31.

i've given up the longing for closeness with you, it's no longer for this life. i am a coward now, rejection has squashed all of my boldness in regards to you. you still make my heart pound, it beats quickly if i think that i've caught a glimpse of you.

i sometimes see someone with your coloring or gait and my whole being becomes charged with the anticipation of your eyes, most times it is your ghost. you and i were electric and i believe that connection is always there no matter how far apart our lives.

do you remember that you love me? i miss kissing you and would still love to spend a late winter afternoon together in my bed. wordless and wonderous is what i remember. was that song about me? of course...

a how do you feel when you see me standing there frozen in my composure? is my performance believable? do you really believe that i don't recognise you? isn't it strange to see me when you are surrounded by your people? it would appear that we've never spoken, let alone explored every inch of eachothers skin. you loved me so...

i wonder if you'll ever call or write. i like the idea of you thinking about me. i like the thought of you, but don't worry, i won't let on..

 

 

[submitted 12/09/02]