I don't think you love me anymore because the way you treat me hurts too much for it to be called love. They say love is pain but I disagree.

Last year when everybody turned on me for no reason you were one of the few people who stuck by me. You turned all the hurt and anger into a feeling I've never felt before. Your face would light up as soon as I walked into a room.

You were proud of me, and you loved to show me off to everyone. You proved your love to me so I knew it was true. But then one day all of that changed.Now that amazing feeling you once made me feel turns into the hurt and anger everybody else caused me.

I swear every single time you touch me you give me tingles. There's something about being wrapped in your big comfy arms and being pressed against your sexy cheast. And when you're in me I feel like a part of you and it's a feeling I can't explain to you. It's the only thing that keeps me feeling like I actually mean something to you.

I know I say the samething all the fuckn time but I can't make it clear enough to you. I'm not saying that I'm perfect and that I don't hurt you...but you wanted this...you wnated me to open up to you...so that's what I'm doing. And I'll keep saying the samething until the day you get it. Even if you break up with me because I become some insane nut.

You say I think about things too much right? Well honestly I don't think you think about things enough. You're lucky you have me...and I'm lucky I have you. But the pain we're both feeling isn't healthy. I don't want to get mad with you anymore or feel wierd around you because of something you've done to hurt me. I want to forget everything bad and concentrate only on the good.

But you can't expect to do one good thing and hope I'll forget all the hurt. It all takes time. And if I'm not worth the time...then end it now even though I don't want to lose you. Believe me the last thing I want is to lose you.

I've told you words mean nothing to me until you prove them...and I know if you really cared you would be able to do that without trying. Honestly I feel really dumb right now...and I don't know if I should be doing this....because I don't know how you're going to take all of this. Just like I don't know how you take everything esle.

But if you really care...do me a favor and don't only read this once...and think about everything I've said.

I love you...

[submitted 05/21/03]