I've had a good time hanging out with you these last few weeks. It's been fun going out with you and your friends, hearing punk bands, smoking good pot, and having all that great sex with you. You've made me feel really young again. You're really a great guy. You're sweet, charming, and sexy. I want you to know that first, and it's true. But it's also true that I can't see you anymore.

You are much too young for me. I know this doesn't make a difference to you, but it does make a difference to me. For one thing, you are pushing way too fast into a relationship when we hardly know each other at all. On the one hand, it seems charming and innocent, but on the other hand you are really demanding and you often get upset at my old lady ways. I told you from the start that I wasn't interested in getting into another relationship so soon after I broke up with my last serious boyfriend. I thought you understood me and accepted that. But it seems clear to me now that even though you tell me that you're okay with keeping this casual, you betray yourself every time we talk.

There is absolutely no way I can see you as often as you'd like to see me. I have way too much going on in my life right now to have time for that. Every time I tell you this, you take it personally and get upset. Whenever I postpone a date, you say you don't mind but I can hear the hurt in your voice.

I really do like you, and I don't want to hurt you like I'm hurting you now. You may think that breaking up is a bad idea, but believe me, if you stay in this relationship it will only get worse. And please don't say that you'll change to make it work. I definitely don't want you to change for me. I don't feel strong enough about our relationship for you to do that.

You have your whole life ahead of you, and you have some big choices to make right now about your career. I can't help you through that without feeling like your mom. You need to find a girl who's closer to your age, someone who is dealing with the same issues as you are, and someone who is as unjaded as you are about relationships. Because you are so sexy and sweet, I'm sure you will have no problems finding her.

I'm sorry to have to do this over email. But as you know, I'm about to leave for New York and I know that you're not home. I thought it would be best to get this sent to you before I leave so you can think about it while I'm gone. Please know that I've made up my mind about this, so don't try to argue me out of it. But I will call you when I get back in town next week so we can talk it through.

Try not to be angry, and have a nice weekend.

[submitted 04/8/02]