From the moment I walked in that door, a goofy smile - one that after getting to know you, I realize you display quite often - appeared on your face, and you opened that genius (albeit annoying, frustrating but ever so lovely) mouth of yours, it has been you. Being terrified and feeling unworthy of such a sweet and pure passion, I think, would make anyone want to run both directly into and promptly in the other direction of what terrifies them so. I chose the latter. The choice that felt safer and surer and that I would like to believe is most certainly not the one I would make now. Though, I seem to be doing a bang up job of repeating myself.

I am still anxious of you and the feelings that you encourage. They can be so commanding at times and at others not so influential at all. I can't seem to commit because of that, even though I say it's what I want. Is love supposed to rise and fall or does it remain ever steady? That's the mania, I don't actually know. I don't think I have ever been in love. Not a functional love anyway. I didn't grow up as a witness to functional love either. How it is "supposed to look" is a mystery to me.

I love you; I have no doubt about that. I love you in the way that I love - dysfunctional, confused, and scared.

the love letter collection
submitted 11:52 PM EST
Thursday, December 29 , 2011