Oh boy. Every time I see you I just want to run up to you and throw my arms around your neck. I wish I could run my fingers through your hair, and just kiss you softly. I can see myself doing it every single time we come close to each other, but I know that it will never actually happen outside my imagined reality. Aw, I know you're with her, and I can see that you're happy. I know that I shouldn't keep this stupid little hope tucked away, that one day, maybe, something will change. Oh, I bet you're going to marry her. I wouldn't really be surprised. I really want to put all of this aside and just be friends, but I never know where I stand with you: whether you don't want to talk, or find me annoying, or actually enjoy my company; I never know. Instead of just asking you, I avoid it. I avoid you. Every time I see you I watch from a distance, and wonder what it would be like to be able to have a normal chat with you like we used to. I miss you so much sometimes, and I wish we could have our friendship back. I never even got to hold your hand, and yet, I feel like we were so close that it didn't matter. It was almost as if there was this invisible force tying us together, until I cut the strings. I sometimes think that I should have said yes, and everything would be different: you would be with me instead of her. But I also think that maybe they wouldn't. No doubt you would just change your mind about me, as they all do. I can't trust you, because I have trouble trusting anybody. That's one of the reasons I avoid you, and get all shy, because I'm terrified of what you think of me, and I can't just trust the fact that you actually like my company. Sometimes I just can't believe that you would ever actually think of me as appealing, but I know that you must have, because you did waste all your time texting me and flirting with me for a good month or so. I just feel so alone right now, without my best friend, and now having to hide from you daily just so I don't feel like shit; just so I can pretend to be happy. I just wish things were a bit different. I miss you a whole bunch. I would just like a chat, but you're so far away now that I'm certain it's not possible. Miss you, cutie. xx

the love letter collection
submitted 5:11 AM EST
Wednesday, November 16, 2011