I want to love you.

More than I have wanted anything in a long time, I want to love you. I don't know quite when this started. Not the first time I saw you, no. Nor the second, wait, let me was the fifth time we met. I remember. I asked you to lunch out of the blue, and to your credit you said yes. To your credit, you have been honest, open, generous, caring, and vulnerable with me from the start. Not the first-meeting start, but that time it was really just us, together, talking with what felt like no barriers whatsoever.

But there are always barriers. We always put them there. I'm trying not to. I want to love you. I can do whatever I'd like with my own barriers, but there's only so much I can do with yours. Those are up to you.

I want to love you. I want to kiss you again, more than again, I want to climb back into your arms and arrange it so I stay there, so that somehow we can never be more than two inches from each other. Never have I let myself be more vulnerable, open, honest, generous, caring with someone I had only just started to know. Kissing you, that new person in that new moment, I felt I could not have been more exposed even if I were standing there naked. And I was okay. There is trust and respect and laughter.

I want there to be love. It's not fair and the timing is poor and I don't think that you are comfortable with letting people love you. I want to love you, not hurt you or scare you, but right now I don't know if those can be separate.

Please let yourself be loved. Even if it's not by me. I want to, but want is not all. Love is at the heart of everything. Please let it in.

the love letter collection
submitted 11:31 AM EST
Wednesday, December 14, 2011