You think I am not thinking of you
or that some line has been crossed
a gate shut
white and final and locked
but that is not true
and you always asked for truth

You think I am foolish and selfish
or that by nature I choose the unattainable
never let go
terminating progress with love or heart
but that is not true
because I feel your love and I am growing

You think I use you and play you
like a doll
or push out reality in favor of dream
choose pain over joy
hanging on to loose threads a lover may have spun
but that is not true
love is a stain needing time to fade

You think I don't want you
that I must be "in love" to be with you
all or nothing now
but love is patient and infinite in form
that is true
I do love you and need time to know its definition

You think I should know love by now
a sure thing, long and enduring
just choose it
I was the way you are years ago
that is true
what I am today is reluctant, hurt and uncertain

You think you mean very little to me
because I rarely meet you and sing our verse
stone-like and unmoving
weighted with duty, worry, lack of knowing
that is true
you are blooming, I am frozen in circumstance

You think I am calling you back
jealous that you have other options
as you shine with desire
I do trust experience more than feeling by now
that is true
go - live, love, while I ponder
but do not end anything

the love letter collection
submitted 1:34 AM EST
Wednesday, December 14, 2011