WITH THEIR DEMONS
I am starting to realize that everybody is at least a little bit messed up. Everyone has something they are not proud of, something they wish they could take back, something they think defines them.
Why would I be any different? Why would I think that I am the only unlovable person int he world? Why do I spend my time worrying everyone else around me will realize my demons and go running as far away as they possibly could? Why do I let my insecurities let me believe that I am not worth loving?
I am a silly girl. There are people who I know who have darker demons than me, and yet I find myself loving them just the same.
Why can't I love myself? Why can't I believe that my worth is more than what I think it is? Maybe it is because I cannot control another person's actions, but I can control mine. Maybe it is because I do not have to live with their demons, but I have to live with mine everyday.
When am I going to stop holding myself back from being my best? When am I going to open my whole heart to the world and have faith that everything is going to be alright; people will stop abandoning me, lying to me, discarding me? When will a person allow me to connect to them and also want to connect to me?
As I write this letter, all I can think about is you loving me. How when I see you loving me, I start to feel like I can start loving myself. I think to myself, "this wonderful man has seen my weakness my faults, my demons- and yet, here he stands not walking away or pointing a finger.
Here stands a person who is filled with goodness and he loves me. There must be something he sees that is worth loving. I might not see it, but I do not see a lot of things.
I may be a silly girl, but I am the luckiest girl in the world!
love letter collection
11:32 PM EST
Monday, November 21, 2011